How to Gain Control of Your Emotions: No More “Good” or “Bad” Days

There are circumstances, events, challenges, roadblocks, and outcomes in life that we certainly can’t control, no matter how much effort and hard work we put in; no matter how much we push for a specific outcome. The ebb and flow and the ups and downs in life are often cyclical in nature, exposing us to periods of struggle and success; hardship and joy; change and stability. Another state of being that can sometimes feel out of our control is emotion. We can control whether we express emotions, stifle them, minimize, or avoid them, but feeling them is generally inevitable. Emotions are something we might not always be able to escape, but we do have a strong sense of indirect control and that is in our ability to accept emotions without judgment, interpretation, or attribution.


Acceptance of emotions is the ultimate source of control when it comes to how we feel and the quality of our day—of our life even. If you can accept emotions as part of the natural ebb and flow, up and down, of life, you will begin to understand emotions as a passing thing—a momentary shift in thought and feeling made up of a buildup, a peak, and then a gradual decline to your typical or “normal” state of being. Rather than using emotions as a compass, as a manner of interpreting the direction of our days, we can instead view emotions as an entirely separate and unrelated phenomena—a part of being a thinking, breathing, and living human being. We can gain and maintain control of our emotions if we don’t use them as a label or as a means of predicting our day-to-day life.


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