Improve Relationship with Ourselves

As mothers, our relationships with ourselves tend to suffer because we place our family's needs above our own. When we are busy doing everything we can to balance home, work, health, faith, and more, it can often be challenging to find time for self-care.


Although meditation and reading are great alternatives, it can usually be time-consuming. This is especially true if you have younger children and are barely functioning on three to four hours of sleep at night. How do we find time for ourselves when everything else seems to demand more from us each day? We start by evaluating how we are using our time. At this point in our lives, time management becomes even more crucial. We must also keep in mind that the to-do list we have in front of us will never end. In this article, I will share a couple of tips that have helped me find time to connect with myself while still having the opportunity to give to others.


Get off of social media.


If getting off social media is not an option for you, perhaps consider it your moment of self-care. However, keep in mind that social media tend to cause us more emotional stress as we scroll through our feeds. Placing a timer on apps can help reduce social media use while also giving us the satisfaction of being online.


If you'd like, try a social media detox for about a week, and I'm sure that you'll find that you have more time than you thought was available to you. When I initially tried it, I immediately noticed that I felt less stressed. I was able to focus on tasks and items that were moving the needle towards long-term goals. I also had more energy and fewer headaches from being in front of the computer and phone screen all day. Less is more when it comes to social media.

Practice patience with yourself.


Motherhood isn't easy. It's exhausting, no matter how much you love your children and family. Let's not waste time comparing our lives with others who may be trying their best to put up a picture-perfect façade. You're not the only one going through this season of life. The good news is that--well, you're not the only one going through this season of life. Just as we would practice patience with our children (mostly), we must practice patience with ourselves. Give yourself grace when things get a bit out of the ordinary, like piles of dishes in the sink or laundry that needs to get done. Because guess what? There's always going to be laundry, dishes, housework, and family demanding your time.


At that moment, we need to keep what is most important to us at the top of our minds. For me, that's my family. When my daughter interrupts whatever I'm asking for playtime, I stop what I'm doing and play. Time is a nonrenewable resource, and the mom-guilt and shame I had of working all the time went right out the window when the pandemic began. I choose to make my family my priority above everything else. Because we all know that now more than ever, that tomorrow is promised to no one.


Motherhood isn't easy. The only way that I have found can improve the relationship I have with myself is by identifying what will always come first in my life. I schedule blocks of time for everything else on my calendar and honor it. This is how I can meditate, listen to audiobooks, work remotely, homeschool my daughter, care for our home, operate a small business on the side, and so much more. If you hear of other mothers doing the same, please know that it's not easy or that we are magical unicorns. There's no trick or tips to it other than scheduling time to do the things we want and placing priority over things that matter most in our lives.


DRM Scholars was created was to provide professional women who may also be working moms to include reading as part of their self-care routine. Our book club members have a community away from all the ads and emotionally draining feeds that Facebook can cause. It's a community that celebrates, supports, and inspires you each month. Even when you aren't able to read a book each month, we offer different ways to include books and have the support you need on days you need support and encouragement.

Consider becoming a member today.

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