Self-confidence is a skill that takes practice and training. It takes a strong foundation where you are able to identify your strengths, accept yourself as you are, and have an overall positive belief about your personal identity. Building self-confidence is essential when it comes to setting and meeting your goals, succeeding in life, and even finding happiness and joy.
A confident person is surely not so self-assured all the time, but confident people do tend to be very self-aware and can identify areas where they need to develop a more positive belief about themselves and combat any negative thoughts they may have that can gradually diminish their self-worth.
As an introvert, you aren’t as outspoken and bold as your more extroverted counterparts. But the reality is that being an extrovert doesn’t automatically mean a person is confident and has everything figured out in their life. The difference here is mostly that extroverts are good at making themselves appear confident and self-assured because of their outwardly outgoing, talkative, and social nature. Introverts tend to be more cautious when it comes to how they present themselves to the world; they think and analyze themselves and others more, and may tend to hold back when it comes to expressing themselves.
It’s possible that as an introvert, you have a healthy level of self-confidence, only you might think that expressing confidence must be done in the way that extroverts showcase this trait. If you feel that your introverted character makes it difficult for you to exude a confident and in-control attitude—or if you feel you would benefit from building greater confidence—below we will discuss some strategies and clarify myths and facts to help you on this self-development journey towards finding that inner source of belief in yourself and your abilities.
People are not born being confident.
It’s something that is learned and practiced and most importantly, you sometimes have to go through moments in your life where you know what it feels like to lack confidence in order to see it’s valued and learn to build it.
Learning to accept failure builds self-confidence.
Beginning pretty early on in life, we learn that failing is bad and that we should always strive to succeed—to be the very best at everything, all the time. Not only is this an immense amount of pressure to put on yourself, but it is also highly unrealistic to think this way. It’s important to strive for success, but we also have to learn that failure is part of learning. If we do great things all the time, then what motivation would we have to learn and grow? Learning to interpret failure as an opportunity, rather than a huge setback or reason to give up, will help you build your belief in yourself and your abilities.
Assertiveness is a key trait for greater self-confidence. It means being honest and genuine with yourself and in your interactions with others. It is means saying what you truly want and not feeling the need to hide or change the way you are to fit a mold or please others. When you are assertive, you have to get used to sometimes standing alone—on issues, during the conflict, and literally being physically alone sometimes. This happens because assertive people will not always be liked and welcomed wherever they go, but you will be more likely to be respected and valued by those who can accept and appreciate you—and you will grow in your self-confidence.
Identify your personal strengths.
Self-confidence needs to be worked on and developed on a regular basis. Think of it as a muscle that you need to strengthen regularly. A major part of building this strong belief in yourself is to be able to identify your personal strengths. Sometimes, due to the way our society works in terms of what is counted as “achieving” in life, we tend to be very hard on ourselves, put ourselves down, and focus constantly on improving our flaws. What is far more effective when it comes to achievement, and increasing your self-confidence, is building upon your personal strengths. Trying to “self-improve” all the time can really distract from the many abilities and positive traits you have that you can be strengthening even more in order to achieve success.
Your self-reflective and observant nature as an introvert can place you at a great advantage when it comes to practicing the skills necessary to build your self-confidence. Envision yourself as achieving this part of yourself and embodying your true nature as a self-assured, courageous, and confident individual.
If you'd like to learn more about how to increase your confidence, I highly recommend you read The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane. What's also awesome about this book is that she offers exercises you can do each day or week to implement what she teaches for each chapter.
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